It's the 12th of November, and I'm on my way to Philadelphia for a Model United Nations Conference. I'm really excited for this, because I've been hearing and reading about these kinds of conferences for a long time before. Now, I'm suddenly a part of it, of this. It's like a dream- these past few months seem so surreal. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought it possible to be studying here, to be experiencing a vast array of multicultural perspectives that's been thrown to me in such a short span of time. God just likes to surprise me with his twist and turns.





I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.


It's hard transitioning into three things at the same time: living in new country, getting used to college, and getting accustomed to being away from your loved ones. I'm not saying I don't like it here; i do, but the atmosphere here and the culture here is very different.

Magsasalita muna ako gamit ang Tagalog, kahit alam kong di gaanong kaganda Tagalog ko. Grabe dito, mga tao sobrang liberal. Kanina nga lang, nagtanong ako sa isang junior transfer student galing sa Jesuit university if talagang liberal and politically correct in general mga tao dito, or sa Wesleyan lang. Sabi niya, lahat daw talaga ganon, pero sa Wesleyan ibang level talaga.

In a way though, it's fun and enlightening because I get to sample different perspectives from people from different races, backgrounds, countries, and states. Sometimes I agree with them, usually I don't, but the great thing about here (I'm speaking about Wes right now, 'coz that's all that I know of at present) is that people respect whatever you believe in.

Pero seriously, ewan ko lang kung nasa utak ko lang, pero minsan feeling ko may pagka-racist minsan mga tao dito, even subconsciously. Ewan, di naman sila sinasabi out loud pero obviously mas prefer nila makipagkaibigan sa mga kauri nila. Hindi naman sa ayaw nila saamin, pero preference lang talaga. Well actually ako naman prefer ko rin kasama mga internationals, pero I feel like may konting divide here talaga between them and us.

Believe it or not, I'm in a Catholic Retreat right now. Five of us came from Wes, and then around nine from Yale. I met some cool people here, and it just feels good to have some time for myself for a while. Minsan kasi, talagang pinapahalagahan ko alone time ko. I like to just lie down on my bed, read a book, think about life, do whatever stuff to occupy my (scarce) free time. Pero in a dormitory, parang lahat ng free time ko kinakain ng hanging out with friends. Ok naman siya, it's fun I admit, pero minsan nakakamiss din yung nakaupo ka lang nang walang ingay. So this Retreat is so calming, so rejuvenating, a very well needed break.

Pero actually, ang fail ko. I brought two textbooks and a binder folder to this retreat, thinking that I might get some work done. I had a three hour break today, and I haven't even cracked open one. Partly because the atmosphere here is so relaxing, and partly because I'm so worried over Ondoy. I can't reach my family until now, and I'm so worried. I know my place in Sta. Mesa is easily flooded, and I hope they're okay. I'm praying for them right now here at the retreat.

Okay, to my academics. I'm taking Biology, Chemistry, French, German History, Chem Lab, and Bio Lab. Please don't say that my subject combination is weird. It is, actually, but I love all my subjects. Three days a week I have half-days, and then one ends at 4 pm, the other at 3 pm. Seems great right? HINDI NOH. I spend most of my free afternoons and evening studying, doing assignments, reading, and the like. It's worth it, because I really love studying about subjects that I'm passionate about, but I miss sleep. That's why I'm always excited for the weekends.

Now I can't think of anything else interesting in my life right now. I guess I'll end it at this, and just add next time. Toodles! :)








I just realized that until now, my sense on worth is directly proportional on how much I weigh on the scale.

Yung tipong nararamdaman ko na ang hiya at pagkapoot sa bumibilog kong mukha tuwing may nakikita akong kakilala.

Irrational, I know, but when I ever been rational about my self-esteem issues?

Ahhh well. I have one more week to diet before I see some of my friends. The problem is doing that is a complete feat in itself, since I keep on cooking on most days, baking once a week, and my mom keeps buying me my fave foods since I probably won't be eating them for 9 months.

Temporary insanity, this is.



Exactly 1 more month and it's Wesleyan time.

I really want to go already, I have nothing better to do at home. Well okay, actually I'm not the type of person to sit around the house twiddling my thumbs and counting how many cracks there are on the ceiling. (Confession: I just looked up and there aren't any, since we just renovated my room last year.)

Back to the point, I'm not really bored. Truth to be told, I'm actually spending my time productively. Reading the classics (I have around 10 books here that I haven't finished yet), painting, learning how to cook, baking at every possible opportunity, and dressmaking have occupied my time quite nicely. Not to mention I'm improving in piano, and guitar (But I'm stuck at the barre chords, help! My fingers are nicely calloused already from all the practicing, mostly from the failed attempts at the barre chords.)

I'm also exhausting facebook a bit too much, chatting up other pre-frosh and talking about our impending college exploits, which actually give me great pleasure and is a nice way to (at least) be sure that I have at least a few acquaintances when I get there. (In other words, so I don't become a loner.)

Wait, my post's getting a bit jaggled already. What I mean is that, I'm just so freakin excited!

Pardon this post, which has no apparent point, except to say that 1 month cannot go faster than I dare to hope. Ever since freshman year, I've been thinking about college. Funny anecdote, I and Sophia were reminiscing and going through her autograph book when we were still lowly sophomores. My answer for the question "How do you picture yourself in a few years" (or something of that thing), is "Studying abroad."

Ha! Once again, the countdown begins. 1 month more. :)

Awesome.



Okay, so the post may seem to be what it is not, given the uhm recent circumstance. Eh basta, my post has nothing to do with publicized happenings, it's about something VERY secret. No one knows. Maybe one or two close friends can guess what it is, but aside from that, no one else will understand.

I just wanted to vent.

See ya.



... weird. I don't know why I'm sad. Crying may be the only way to let it out. But no tears are falling, just a heavy heart.

Guess you don't appreciate what you have until you lose them. But this day would have come, eventually. It's just hard. But I should be happy, delighted for that person. Good luck to you. :)

Let me eat a donut tonight, sin a little. Definitely better than crying. Yum yum.



Okay, so I know it's 2 in the morning, but my excitement over this little bit of news simply CANNOT WAIT.

Seriously, Jimmy Choo for H&M! :) The prices on the lower end of the spectrum of regular Jimmy Choo shoes are around $600, and the more expensive ones are more than $1000. But H&M is collaborating with the respected brand to deliver affordable Jimmy Choo shoes and accesories to the public. The cheapest shoes go for around $60 dollars only (ballet flats), while the more intricate ones, around $300 dollars (leather boots). The stillettos are around $120.

Shit. HAHA. I am so buying one. Even just around the $60 to around $100 dollar price range. I shall save up for thiiiis. I'd so love a stilletto, but i won't get to use it that anyway in college so it's pretty pointless. I want to get my mom one, again, I'll save up for this! (Imma get a part-time job WOO.)

November 14th. I looked into my Wesleyan Calendar, I guess I can drop by New York on the 24th to 30th. It's Thankgiving weekend 'ayt. Kakaexcite. Basta Jimmy Choo. ;)

I'll go to sleep already. TTFN!